It is always very easy to have big dreams. But it's gonna be hard to achieve them. For too long, everyone have been wanting big changes. You know, something impactful and life changing. Like 3D Movies, Harry Potter and Facebook. I'm not complaining.

But maybe it's time for some of us to set our visions a little lower. Time to let us return to humanity and do small changes. Small changes that actually matters more.

So while everyone is out to make a big difference. I'm trying my best to make a minor difference.

In humanity. I'm still trying.
To be more selfless and less selfish.

By the way, I love 2ne1.

I'm random. If you still didnt get it. (:


December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
June 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011



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Lots and lots of it.

Recently I've been reflecting a lot on my relationships with everyone.

Love, Family, Friendship.

I think it's because it's the end of the year and I wanted to see how to do better next year.

Of course there are more happiness than disappointments.

But usually the negative things are heavy and still affects the general feel.

I didn't want to type this because I don't know definitively who reads my blog now.

But I guess this blog has been too quiet for much audience so I'll really elaborate.

I don't really have general headings for my disappointments but rather just certain moments

that keeps resurfacing and keeps my negative emotions raging.

I think i gotta stress that all the below does not equate to all my friends.

Only some to some.

If not i think whoever reads this and feel that everything is about them must be really angered/saddened.

Alright..

First of all, the competition.

I don't know how come such a fine friendship can become one with so much hints of competition.

I don't see how my life is or should be the same as yours.

Our definition of a good life is very different so why do you like to compete?

It upsets me that I can't speak of anything good without you acting all jealous and so.

Then there are those moments where people are late in meeting me.

Jason knows that even if its just 5 minutes, i get mad pissed at him cause if i can reach on time, why can't he?

However, poor him, i am more tolerant to my friends.

But when it just occurs too often, my patience just gets worn thin.

Because one thing i always believe is that the timing was set for a reason.

It isn't something that you take as, "oh so i reach there AROUND that timing can liao."

It should be something that you take as, "I'll reach BY then or ON the dot."

Then there was that time where I just get so tired of initiating meetups cus i shouldn't be the only one sustaining a friendship.

So the thing is, if i don't set a timing or day, there's a longer delay in us meeting.

I mean, i treasure the friendship but goddamnit its damn tiring to always have to be the one initiating it. I'm working. I'm studying. I'm tired.

I don't always remember things so by the time i realise i've been too caught up in my work and academic life, we would not have met for a long time.

But you? What's your role then?

Then there was that time when we finally met for dinner and I went to get my food.

I came back after a long while and yet, no one else got their food.

Then everyone went to get their food and I'm just someone who waits so we all can eat together.

Then they get back and asked me why i never start first and all.

I didn't know I was supposed to have dinner with myself only.

Then there's those times when i said things before very clearly.

But a few days or even a few moments later, people start asking about it again.

It just makes me wonder how many actually listens to me sincerely?

Then there were times where everyone are talking about things that somehow everyone knew but i dunno what the fuck was going on.

And when i asked what, i feel like a total outcast.

==========================

Wow i totally sound like i got no friends. HAHA.

This is just a compilation of moments/events that happen throughout the year.

And they are the negative ones.

The positive ones I'll probably talk about it when im in a better mood.

But yes. Recently, once im back from Krabi.

All I wanna do is hang out with Milky, my family and Jason and his family especially his newborn niece.

Because I think all the negative things are kinda pressing down on me now that im in the midst of reflecting and have not reached the positive reflection yet. Self reflection is a long process.

Give me time. haha.

I'm very free. Exams are over, and the new school term is not starting until a month or so later.

But I'm not initiating meetups. Im not initiating phone calls/msgs.

Im rejecting meetups. Im rejecting communication basically.

I believe its cause all these disappointments really make me wonder why do i deserve them.

I'm just very tired.

(back to the top.)

My birthday just passed and I had like the awesome-est celebration ever. :)

All the photos are basically on facebook with small captions here and there.

But it's good to blog cause it is more acceptable to type more over here. haha.

That's why there is gonna be like a massive spam of words here rather than photos.

Back to the topic, my birthday!

I was only halfway through my assignment on the Saturday but I was too excited to continue.

I went on to watch Huan zhu ge ge and Friends to pass time. Old school ftw!

HAHA.

Anyway, it was time to meet him and he blindfolded me and plugged his mp3 into my ears.

So I was deaf and blind for those moments.

He had to proudly declare he specially downloaded 2ne1 songs for me. hahaha.

Then after we hop on the cab, I was just wondering where exactly are we going.

And my eyes opened finally a really nice place!

I was like, "is this still Singapore?" and he was like, "Welcome to Bintan!"

HAHAHA. asshole.

Anyway, we got to the room and I was kinda prancing around feeling quite happy.

Then when i wanted to explore the toilet, TA DAAAAAA!!

They were there! haha.

It was quite a sight to have lots of heads in toilet in the dark.

Anyway I was really surprised.

I mean, yeah i kinda guessed that Jason would invite people over, but I wasn't exactly sure.

He did a lot of stuns just to feed my imagination until I don't even know what to believe anymore.

Yeah, I was really very touched to see them there. :)

Sank you Fahmi and Alison. <3

Sank you Shihua and her lover Zhuo Wei. <3

Sank you Fat ass. <3

Lastly, Sank you Li Xuan. <3

Haha, i think she had to put up with Jason's bullying.

I really empathise.

6 of us! :)

Yangce could not make it for that night.

Well anyway, it was a great time.

And I really loved that video they did up for me.

I still have not get the video file yet. =.=

The next day, we had our planned meeting. :)

That's us at a cafe near Marymount Mrt.

So touched, :') they travelled so far. hahaha.

This, is the clique that always stays in Jurong Point. LOL.

Us at the Buona Vista Circle line platform. HAHA.

Nice background. :)

Lastly, I'm really grateful to him. :)

From all the surprises and suspense.

And especially that home cooked chilli-crab meal.

I felt so crazily blessed. :)

Yes, I'm a softie when it comes to such sweet thoughtful stuff.

It seems really simple to everyone but I still gotta say it.

Jason, thank you.

Like seriously. I'm not a great girlfriend.

I vaguely remember reading somewhere..

something that there's always a better person out there,

and there will always be a person better than you.

Anyway, I just thought that the quote is very apt at such a juncture.

But honestly i cant remember it exactly. Damn. Haha.

Point is, we are two very imperfect singles who became better when together.

Now don't i sound shameless. HAHAHA.

Jason, really, thank you. :)

I am pretty lost at words, and that must be an accomplishment for you.

I mean, me, lost in words?! How often does that happen? haha!

I love you. :)

Oh and yes, the polaroid that you bought for me.

I'll snap so many of us together at different points of time.

Then we can have our gallery room at our future home about a decade later if possible.

Like Ga-in and Jokwon. WAHAHAHA.

I had a wonderful 21st birthday! :D

I got a simple and yet very enjoyable and surprising celebration.

It's really more than i can ask for.

Even though I don't like holding parties, Jason, I'm still glad you asked them in for the surprise.

You got the right peeps! :D

And lastly, celebration aside.

I still wonder about Life. =/

Still figuring it out. I don't want something so wasted.

But with all the restrictions..gahhhhhh.

Well at least know, on family making issues..if I'm still with Jason..

He would give me the time to wait.

Seriously, I cannot stand it when I see on FB how people around my age says things like,

"I can't wait to marry and have a house."

It makes me wonder how much they actually thought about it.

Honestly, I dunno if im a coward or something.

But I think Life still has a lot more to offer me and a house really can wait.

Right Jason?

The most we sleep under the canals or drains or something.

Haha, just joking, i scared of cockroaches.

(back to the top.)

:( :( :(

I feel so sick and tired whenever I stare at the impending essay.

I'm on MC today.

Haha dunno whether I feel happy or sad for that.

Anyway, he came to my house today so we can settle our December trip.

Haha. Air tickets only halfway purchased, hotels only one reserved.

Just in case you were wondering why the hell everything is only 50% done..

It's cause we are going both Phuket and Bangkok! Wahahaha.

So can only book one way trips and must book two different hotels.

Troublesome but worth it.

5 more assignments, 3 exams and 2 camps before PnB.

haha. I keep saying we should name it Pu Nia Bor.

But Jason says im disgustingly crude and proceeds to fart in my face.

Sigh.

Talk about farting, today while waiting at the polyclinic..

I lao sai-ed again. HAHAHA. then keep farting the whole day long.

Goodness. BWAHAHA.

And YES I WENT TO THE POLYCLINIC.

lol my head was really hurting quite badly..

abit impatient to wait for the GP clinic to open.

And wah, my medicine $1.40, consultation fees $9.50.

GP usually around $26 in total. lol.

I've been leading an ATAS life.

yeah right. hahaha.

HAIYA. MUST GO BACK AND LOOK AT THE ESSAY AGAIN.

BYE.

(back to the top.)

Yeah as the title of this blog post is.

This is about mean fucks.

Sigh, but the mean fucks i meet probably won't read this blog at all.

I think i just made Taylor Swift's song crude.

Okay, mean people. not mean fucks.

There are some people out there who crushes your dreams.

Not in a funny way as above.

In a devastating way.

Yes im a person who believe that reality and practicality is needed in Life.

Sometimes, dreams are really far fetched.

However, please consider what the person's dreams are.

In the recent times, I see many people use "I'm practical" so frequently..

that it becomes an excuse.

How many people i see stay in their job because it's in their comfort zone?

How many people work for the money?

What about the passion? What about the dreams?

In fact, actually i see those pursuing their dreams as more practical people.

Why?

Because they only have one Life. Enough said. Do the math.

Then there are some people who dont think before they speak.

People say a picture speaks a thousand words.

I don't really agree with that.

Look at photos.

Do they tell you the process and conversations that lead to the photo?

A picture is pretty limited.

But the choice of words you use are the powerful ones.

They say a lot because they usually invoke thoughts be it meaningful or not.

However, some people don't see their impact of their words.

I'm a person who hates to listen to the same thing over and over again.

I don't hate anyone. nor dislike anyone.

If i did, i think i always fail to hide it. I never mastered being a hypocrite.

But there's this person, who says nothing.

And when something is said, it seems like no thinking has been done before words are being said.

Why so defensive? It's tiring to see such a person struggle.

Overall, seeing and linking these two types of people i mentioned in my blog post..

I'm just gonna say.

One of my dream is to not stay in a job for about 10 years and speak like i don't know anything.

And, I'm gonna live my Life, the way i want it.

People's advice to me that "In the real world, it's like that, you gotta adapt."

I'll ask you, if your world real, why can't my world be real to?

You do what you think is right, I do what I know is right.

Bye.

(back to the top.)

We went to Caramel Cafe the other day! :)
Wanted to eat at somewhere pretty so ta daa!!!

This collection was beside our table.

Love this type of pretty, colourful stuff!

That's him, forced to take a photo.

Check out the background yo! Pretty!

And all the pretty ja ba lang things behind me.

Sigh i cant stand how my hair is growing longer and longer.

Need to spend money to go trim liao. T.T

The ceilings are decorated with pretty stuff too!

That's him viewing everything so seriously.

Dunno what's his prob also. haha.

Aglio olio!

My cheese and ham pasta(?) !

It was very good!!!

So much better than his dry aglio olio.

Though he said his one was very nice and much better than mine.

Eyeing my root beer float.

Which was 6bucks. hahaha.

I paid 6 bucks to have a cup of root beer and vanilla ice cream.

I know, i shouldnt act so ATAS. T_T

LOL. if i ATAS, i dunno what the rest of the world is liao.

Anyway, as seen above, I really am pretty brain dead and can't generate much words out..

HOWEVER. This i must record down.

He gave me the minion I wanted!! :)

He placed it in my bag while i wasn't looking.

Then when i finally took back my bag, i felt something strange and furry.

I took it out and ITS MY LITTLE MINION!!

I was really so damn happy.

I mean, those of you who knows Jason, he's really dumb at such cute antics.

I'M SO GLAD HE PULLED OFF THIS ONE.

cause YIJIE LOVES SURPRISES :D

But that's not all!

When we reached his home, he asked me to go to the kitchen to get the mooncake for him.

I did not even wonder why he was so lazy since I'm too happy with that minion.

Then when i return to the room, i saw my bag looking full.

And when I opened...

Tadaa!!! There's another two of them!

DOUBLE SURPRISE! :)

I'm really grateful. Not for the present actually..

But for the thought in presenting it in such a special way.

I'm a sucker for romantic or sweet antics.

Give me an expensive necklace and i'll strangle you with it.
Give me a branded bag and I'll just spoil it for you to see.

But show me thoughtful actions, and i'll love it.

I'm really THAT easy to satisfy.

And yes Jason, I'm very happy with your efforts. HAHA.

I know you're putting in your effort to change to be a more romantic boyfriend :)

I like.. LOL.

Thank you!! :))

Okay, abrupt end. it's time to bathe and sleep. haha.

Just to remind you all, in case you forgot for some unholy reason.....

My birthday is coming.

Tralala~

(back to the top.)

Hello! *WAVES WAVES TO THE EMPTY AIR*

It has been so damn long since I've blogged.

And i still don't know what to blog about.

Life has been boring with me being busy with work and studies.

Even when i want to get down to doing volunteering work, time restricts me.

:(

This was taken at my recent Bintan trip.

It was just a simple weekend trip spending time with Jason and talking about stuff.

After this time of relaxation, I kind of feel that my life is so unfulfilled.

I don't want to rush into marriage, or getting a house.

I don't want to save money just to spend it on my wedding, my house and my children.

I want to save money for my Life too.

Anyway, to keep it short.

Thanks to my assignment, the ugly of many people around me and one new colleague.

I was reminded of what I want in Life.

And it's best to achieve it when I'm still young with not much commitment.

:)

Of course, he's part of my future too.

But marriage is after all just a piece of paper.

It doesn't matter how long we take to get married.

All that matters is how much time we spent are actually meaningful.

And many meaningful things awaits us.

Wedding can wait. House can wait. Children can wait (but i know got limit). Haha.

Love, I believe that the most important thing in Life is to live it. :)

And I wanna live it with you.

Too many times in Life, people rush to do things.

But the things they rush to do, are not the right things.

They are the self-proclaimed necessary things to do.

But they are not.

(back to the top.)

Cupcakes i bought to welcome him back! (:

Okay, the previous post and current post is very closely dated.

Haha. but honestly the previous post was supposed to be posted on Early May!

So he really went for one month, not i crazy, go a few days i also so crazily excited.

Picked him up in the unholy hour of 1-2am.

Much thanks appreciation to Ernest and Jitsiong for acc-ing me from the time i ended work

till the airport. And halfway Marcus joined us in his high-ness.

Probably too much alcohol or too tired.

Anyway, I knocked out by the time I reached his house.

Sorry Jason, to fall asleep so quickly. LOL.

Feeling a little more energized the next day but still not enough sleep!

I wanted just Pebbles and BamBam on the cupcakes. :(

But I guess I wasn't clear in my order.

Nevermind, still cute!

Went to Arirang for lunch buffet! :D

That's the only Tshirt i bought for him from Bangkok.

Honestly, I strongly agree that first trip to BKK is always the worst.

LOL (ST and Val, its not about you two)

Cause unclear about the place. Next time must properly strategise! haha.

I'm very excited! Cause Korean food is much loved by yours truly.

This time, its buffet style! SHIOK OR NOT!

Haha. Ate here for Yangce's 21st celebration and im back again in like less than 2 weeks!

It's not really good in the sense of being authentic.

You want authentic, go Ju Shin Jung, its the closest you can get in Singapore I think.

From what I heard. But it always burn a hole in my pocket when i go!!

So I love far east plaza to bits and pieces cause its always affordable.

Prob with FEP's korean restaurant is that the ala carte servings are large for 2 people.

So always can only choose 3 dishes max (incl soup) and it would be damn filling.

Would cost around $27 per person usually.

Here they have smaller plates of rice cakes!

So can order more if we want to but not have any extras!

We ordered two of it that day!

The best part should be the bbq!

I can have ALL meat. Beef, chicken, pork and fish.

Usually I can't cause it would be costly and fucking filling thus i would only choose one!

Btw, please ignore the hotdog.

Jason also shocked me when he ordered the hotdog. haha.

BBQ-ed stuff!

I love the spicy fish!! It's THE BEST. I think we had like 3-4 servings of it!

I ordered spicy crab soup! SEE? Only one bowl!

Jason ordered seafood soup!

I ordered two servings of soup for myself cause im a soup-person.

So good rather then ordering one larger pot of soup and sharing.

Cause we sometimes wanna try different soup!

And in all.........

It cost only $18-$19 per person! (:

SHIOK AR!

That's lunch though.

Yangce's birthday dinner was around $23-$24 per person.

Exact same stuff, buffet style but more ex cause dinner.

But still cheap! (:

They have dessert too!

But since it was beside Ah chew, we decided to go next door for dessert.

But Jason decided he was too full for dessert. FUCKER. make me miss out on dessert. T_T

For that, the very unglam pose you did shall be on this blog post for all to see.

:D

Went to watch XMEN.

HAHA. Not bad. I always love the good and bad guys powers.

I want. T_T

OH and!

Watched Kungfu panda 2 with Alison last week.

It was a good LOL movie.

Us being naughty at the iluma garden.

Went to his mother's side chalet after that.

LOL at me winning mahjong LIKE A BOSS.

7 times in a row with more than half being more than 4 tai and self-game!

Shiok ar!

But damn tired. The game ended late as a result.

By the time we cabbed back home at amk, was so freaking late.

And i was meeting grace for facial in the morning!

Facial done and Jason was starving and bored at home waiting..

Went to his aunt's house to play mahjong again!

Haha. yay~ he won my cab fare home for the night!

Hello Kitty masks he got me.

When i first saw hello kitty, i just went "EEEW. i dont like hello kitty."

HAHA. The disappointment in his face.

But since it was mask and not some soft toy or thing that should be kept,

i forgave him and accepted it.

HAHA. I have a lot of masks now. He bought 4 boxes of Beauty Diary Bird Nest masks for me.

One of which I'll give fat ass la. but its still a crazy amount.

The pictures. Are quite amusing. The mask made Hello Kitty have black eyes. HAHA.

I was quite worried when i put it on just now.

Cause Beauty Diary Masks..are kind of irritable to my skin.

I'll get rashes/feel itchy after usage.

Except the bird nest one. Thus Jason bought 4 box all bird nest.

Thats why i think mask cannot anyhow put one.

Then the Hello kitty one so dubious. haha. but smells quite nice.

So far so good. Not much sticky residue compared to beauty diary.

And the notebook he gave me! I love notebooks with blank pages! <3!

The cover is cool too.

Problem is, what shall i write in it. Haha. I always collect such nice stuff.

And am at a lost to what to do with it.

Shall figure out a use for it soon.

Alright, end of post. BYE.

(back to the top.)