It has been one sleepless night. I'm still trying to stay awake the 2nd night.
To play bejeweled.... O.O LOL.

I KNOW im a girl/lady/female, whatever you call it. 
But HEY. I need something to keep me awake at such an hour! =D

Oh dear REPORTS. 
HURRY finish up!

I'm not used to not being hug by you. ):
It has been days. ARGH. 

I seriously hate such honeymoon period in relationships.
Who ask you halfway leave?! Now gotta go through that period again!
maybe i shouldn't complain. =/

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

i need a hug. please.

HERE first! =)
For work and for leisure.

HERE second!
For honeymoon! haha. yeah right. I'm not married. =D

And phuket in june? Maybe, maybe not. See how. XD

I just realised something. 
Last night when I was talking to him about the friendships...
All my friends..

He actually knows them. As in, their names.

And.. I only remember 1 of his friends' name who are not my friends..
He knows, I believe at least 10 of my friends' names who are not his friends.

I'm an arse.

"I'm too straightforward and direct for some delicate hearts or emotional people. But hey, that's me. You gotta live with it or leave it. =)"

I'm turning 20. ):
It might seem like a long way too go but I believe it would reach too soon.

Right now, my social life's standard is great I presume.
Friendships. 

Just today, I told him I decided I should drop some friendships.
Too many times I am the one initiating conversations.
Too many times I listen to them and they dont listen to me.
Too many times when they are impatient or frustrated, I'm the one they vent their anger on.
Too many times they speak to me so rudely.

Strange enough, the friendships i chose to drop are mostly with guys.
NOT because I'm afraid he would be jealous.
But purely cause these guys are so egoistic.
They just go against me for no solid reason. 
Every time I say something, they just like to argue that something else is better.

Please, stop being such chauvinistic pigs.

And to those who don't know anything, don't say I've not tried to keep these friendships okay?
Don't give remarks such like, "don't friend you is so passe". 
I will still talk to them if I do see them on the streets or smth. But to maintain it, I see no point.

So yes, to these friendships, whether with guys or girls, I'm so saying goodbye.
Cause given all your maturity levels, its best you all make friends with kindergarten kids. 
They might make you feel more superior and mature. =)

If you think I'm talking about you, maybe I am, maybe I am not. 
Haha. Some of these people might not even know of this blog. LOL.
But well, if you have that little bit of sense. 

If you think that you have not been initiating any conversations be it virtually or reality.
If you think that you have seen me lose my temper at a stupid comment that you made.
If you think that you made some immature and egoistic comments.

Either one of these, yay~ You failed in being a friend that i would like to keep. =)

Sad, but nice song

: ' )

Supposed to go for a job hunt today so as to fill my bottomless pockets.
However, I am darn sick since last night.

I hate:

Splitting headaches
Irritated throat
Disruptive coughs

=(

And when I saw these words, I smiled so wide till my face cracked. =)

"I always had a low threshold of patience. I always dislike mixing around in large groups. Now that I don't have any responsibilities, I just reverted back to who I am. Don't test my patience."

Lousy cameras.
Bad resolution.
Imperfect angles.

Failed objective.
Lousy dating place.

But a very happy yijie. 
All because someone reminded me that I'm being loved. =)

Somehow, as I listened to this, I got the strong urge to hug you.

"And so, the thing I did was to go dye my hair purple. It looks purple-brown with varying intensity under varying lights. Not obvious and yet, still quite obvious. He guessed it right away on the phone. I just hope he's alright with it when he sees me on Saturday. =/ And hash is an ass for laughing at the sight of me dying my hair. =D"

I've made a decision to do something. 
Will update on what's that thing again.

It has been something that has been missing in me for a year or 2.
It has been something i've always wanted to do since young. 

But im apprehensive over this decision.

One, I'm afraid of the outcome.
Two, he has expressed that he does NOT want me to do it.

)):

But, I really have got to do it. Just this once. Cause its really me.

Anyway, the lack of sleep from the past few nights since Saturday has bad and good effects.

I was literally flaring up at him last night on the phone.
Saying i dont understand why some things are being done this way or that.
Today, with a clearer mind, I understood what he said was so right.

"There is no right or wrong. There is no good or bad.
People make different decisions based on previous experiences.
Thus every year, the decision would be different and seem to oppose the prev.
Just let them go already. You verbally say you have.
But look at how you're constantly worrying..."

): okay. i know i know. haha.

But in the end, I realised, how much you actually care about me and what you say is so true. =)

I wanted to blog something philosophical. You know.. Something like..

"What don't kill you makes you stronger" or...

"If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes"

and whatsoever.
But I've got no inspiration.

My mind is now just clogged up with how much i love my new boots.
And i need new clothes to match my new boots.

ahh... bimbo thoughts, bimbo thoughts.

AND I NEED SOME HOT, NEW and kinky BRA!
New underwear/garments never fail to make one HAPPY! =DD

Philosophical enough?

"Happiness is when one wears new underwear."

Saw this somewhere. 
Precisely cause its simple, it brings out such a strong impact.

I could honestly feel my heart sinking in those short moments where the guy thought he lost her.

And yes, its only a 12 minutes video. Just keep your eyes glued there for a whole 12 minutes.

And this was how I fell asleep at around 12.30AM today.

My phone was lying beside me, my head leaning on it.
Because I was listening to someone singing me to sleep. <3

It was that warm and fuzzy feeling again. 
Especially when his singing sounds really sweet and cute. :]

P.S: Don't question why I'm awake now. I'll BITE you.

"Slowing down, I look around & I am so amazed. I think about the little things that make life great. I wouldn't change a thing about it. This is the best feeling."

Taylor Swift's Our Song. =)

Avril Lavigne's Innocence.

I LOVE this song. =]

And I realised that the top 3 songs im listening is by Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne.
I must have a secret fetish for blondes. =D

Did I ever mention that this lady is damn good at singing LIVE?
I mean, how often do you see someone singing better LIVE than in their studio album?

• 1: Stop biting my nails
• 2: Maintain a 4 digit amount in my bank =(
• 3: Don't cut my hair away impulsively ever again
• 4: Try hard to get into a university [It's not a choice anymore]
• 5: Go on a holiday at least twice
• :
• Me: I can't think of anything else yet. How pathetic.

And he reminded me...
It's no longer my duty to worry or be disappointed anymore.

• Grace: :) yj, you really like him alot, dont you?
• My thoughts: yes, i do. arent i daring to sink so deep? *sighs*

Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.
Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

Pardon my random love confession. -giggles like a bitch-

"I WANT MY COWBOY BOOTS!"

Not a fan of Demi Lovato. But this song is quite nice. :]

The World comes to Life and everything's right 
From beginning to end 
When you have a friend, By your side 
That helps you to find, The beauty of all 
When you'll open your heart and 
Believe in The Gift of a Friend

CSM 2009/10 came sooner than we wanted.

But the time has ripen. It's time to let go. 
It was a great year. :]

Now, time in 2010 would be spent on the people i've been neglecting.
From more outings with the 7 of them, to the 4 of them and to the other little ones. 
Pity, yangce couldn't make it on saturday night. =(
Pity, couldn't make it to norman's family event thingy on sunday. double =(

But we'll meet up soon ya?